How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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