nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
