I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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