he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
