just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
