i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
