oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
