Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
