Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
