Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
kristin has been a bad kristin
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
