so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
zippers are such a cool invention
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
this will be a night to untag.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
