I'm pants shitting drunk right now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
