You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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