yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
