i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
