I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
