laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
