who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She even gives head with a lisp.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
