Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
