Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
