You just made me feel so damn special
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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