That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
