he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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