why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
