do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
