walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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