I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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