I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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