Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're like the curious george of whores
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize