I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
