just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I DEMAND FORESKIN
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
