Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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