I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
