but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
