I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
