What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
this boner is exhausting
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
