obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
