it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
