remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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