took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
