Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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