Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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