Dual....:-)
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
