Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
