Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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