Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
