my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
