I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
