Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
