The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
