i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
