guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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