hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
