Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
